Revelation

I was asked in a recent retreat to journal on the question, "When has silence fueled a desire, a knowing of who you may yet be?" I wrote,

Silence, creating space. I feel now it is the saving grace of my life. Silence. And also explains my attraction to wilderness; I always felt it was the beauty of what I was seeing, but now I sense the deeper attraction is the inherent silence. I think of a river valley deep in the mountains in the dead of winter. That terribly silent silence. Not terrorizing, but terrible in the magnitude of its beauty, a beauty I can never fully take in, Knowing I cannot apprehend it, glorify it or find words for it is....I see now...the best experience of true humility.
Whenever I am in this terrible silence and beauty I notice I never want to be anyplace else at that moment--and then in this same moment, I want to back away from that which is incomprehensible. the old tension. The two parts of me...the false self wanting to be in control; the true self leaning into Mystery.
Silence fuels the self I call True, the yearning of self into the wholeness of God.